How to Prepare For your Mediation
Bring an open mind and be prepared to hear new information about your conflict.
You will likely be very clear regarding your position when entering a mediation; however, you’re likely less clear about the position of the other party. Your willingness to be open to new information and new perspectives will not only help clarify your own position but will enhance the probabilities for reaching a mutually-acceptable agreement by separating actual positions from suppositions.
Be willing to listen to the other party respectively, even when you vehemently disagree with what they are saying.
Know that you will have plenty of opportunity to counter their arguments and present your own history of events and your position. I generally discourage participants from taking a lot of notes during a mediation; however, if there is something that strikes you as particularly note-worthy, then jot it down and bring it forward when you have the opportunity to speak.
Bring supporting documentation, photos, etc. if you believe they will be useful to the other party in understanding your position.
Remember, however, that mediation is not a court trial and the only people who are “weighing the evidence” are you and the other party. I’ve generally found that mediations are more successful when parties engage in productive and respectful dialogue rather than relying on a lot of written documentation to support their positions.
Be clear on the sequence of events.
It will be easier to articulate your positions if you lay out the history of your conflict or issue in chronological order. This will help the mediator as well as the other party understand and correlate how one thing relates to or impacts another.
Make sure you have reviewed the “Agreement to Mediate” and any other documentation provided by the mediator prior to your session.
Not only will this save time (and, thus, money), it will help you prepare for your mediation and manage your expectations about likely outcomes and what will be required of you once the mediation is finished.
Be on time for your scheduled mediation.
Generally, there is plenty of tension and emotion amongst all parties prior to a mediation session. Don’t compound all that by arriving late.
Be prepared to devote sufficient time for your mediation session.
Most mediations are completed in one session. (Note: divorce and separation mediations, as well as complex contract disputes, can sometimes require multiple sessions.) Depending on the issue, mediations can last anywhere from an hour to 5 or 6 hours. Your mediator will expect to be paid at the end of your mediation unless other arrangements have been agreed to ahead of time. You are required to pay the mediator regardless of whether parties reach an agreement.
Ask for a break if you need to.
Self-care is an important part of mediation. If the session is getting too “hot” (both metaphorically and literally!), know that it’s okay to request a time out. Also, it’s a good idea to bring a water bottle to the mediation.
Although the mediator is present as a neutral third-party, they can also be a great resource in preparing for your mediation.
Don’t be afraid to ask questions ahead of time in order to get the most out of your mediation session.